I don’t drink everything that comes out of the spout of a normal shower.
Stranger: hey that’s a nice dog Man: yes but I’m afraid I’m going to have to put him down Stranger: ah how sad, why so? Man: he’s fucking heavy
It was my birthday an me and my Dad were driving on the highway when we saw a terrible accident. My Dad said “This is the worst accident I’ve seen in 20years!” Well yeah it was my 20th birthday.
I mean, I was, but we broke up.
Stevie Wonder’s speedboat
I cut it in half
until your 30 day trial of photoshop ended.
One of them turns to the other and says, “Hey, didn’t we see this joke yesterday?”