Latvian mom: What happens to you face? Latvian boy: I ride bike into bush of roses Next day he arrives home with more scratches on his face Latvian mom: What happens to you face? Latvian boy: Again, I ride bike…
After, he asked, “What were you and daddy doing?” The mom said, “We were baking a cake.” A few days later, the little boy asked his mom, “Were you and daddy baking a cake?” She said yes, and asked him…
A wise man told me that a bad situation is like shoving an umbrella up your ass. Just when you think it can’t get any worse, someone tries opening it.
What does a catholic priest and a silver medalist have in common…..They both came in a little behind
He’s been doing it for the last 32 years.
They’re still in your driveway
…is that he gets to celebrate mothers day and valentine’s day for the same reasons.
Doctor: “I’m sorry but you suffer from a terminal illness and have only 10 to live.” Patient: “What do you mean, 10? 10 what? Months? Weeks?!” Doctor: “Nine.”