Planned Parenthood that euthanized old racists.
I hate how every time I come home and go to the kitchen my flat mate has spilled milk everywhere. How dairy
Me: S-H-O-P Friend: How do you say it? Me: “Shop” Friend: What do you do when you get to a green light?
That’s because some guy keeps yelling at me to stop stealing his shrimp
A bomb vest does something when triggered.
Me: look at my graphics card Other person: what’s the clock speed Me: it’s so high it hertz
… and he says, “Your Eminence, I have some good news and some bad news.” The Pope, of course, is an optimistic fellow, so he says, “I’ll have the good news first.” The Cardinal tells him, “It seems that Jesus…
Drops him off at band practice
Is a horrible sidease.
But I knew she’d come crawling back to me.