The New York Times, among other papers, recently published a new Hubble Space Telescope photograph of distant galaxies colliding. Of course, astronomers have had pictures of colliding galaxies for quite some time now, but with the vastly improved resolution provided…
Switzerland
A lawyer is talking to a *fellow* politician. ‘I’m going to Switzerland next month,’ said the honest politician. ‘Oh really?’ asked the lawyer. ‘Which bank?’
Entitled To One Phone Call
Entitled To One Phone Call Two teenagers were arrested for public lewdness and possession of marijuana when they were found naked, enjoying a joint on the edge of the fountain in the town square. The arresting officer, unable to reach…
Lawyer Joke
I’ve often started off with a lawyer joke, a complete caricature of a lawyer who’s been nasty, greedy and unethical. But I’ve stopped that practice. I gradually realised that the lawyers in the audience didn’t think the jokes were funny…
It Isn’t Bad
An elderly and somewhat hard-of-hearing man was sitting in a stylish downtown attorney’s office as his lawyer handed him his will. “Your estate is very complex,” said the lawyer, “but I’ve made sure that all of your wishes will be…
Emergency Landing!
An airliner was having engine trouble, and the pilot instructed the cabin crew to have the passengers take their seats and get prepared for an emergency landing. A few minutes later, the pilot asked the flight attendants if everyone was…
A Level Playing Field!
The judge summoned the opposing lawyers to his chambers. Confronting the lawyers, the judge said: “Each of you has presented me with a bribe.” The lawyers squirmed uncomfortably. “Mr. Hearnski, you gave me $15,000. Mr. Joy, you gave me $10,000.”…
The Reward
A man finds a wallet with $700 in it. A few days later, he reads a notice stating that a wealthy man has lost his wallet and is offering a $50 reward to anyone who returns it. He soon locates…
That Settles It!
Pete and Mick were in court and standing before the judge. “Why can’t this case be settled out of court?” the judge asked. Pete looked up at the judge and said, “That’s what we were trying to do, your honour,…
Well, Hush My Mouth!
The judge read the charges, then asked: “Are you the defendant in this case?” “No, your honor,” replied Tommy. “I’ve got a lawyer to do the defending. I’m the person who did it.”