Q: How many Macintosh users does it take to change a light bulb? A: None. You have to replace the whole motherboard.

Q: How many nihilists does it take to change a light bulb? A: There is nothing to change.

Q: How many televangelists does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None. Televangelists screw in motels.

Q: How many presidential candidates does it take to change a light bulb? A: Fewer and fewer all the time.

Q: How many consultants does it take to change a light bulb? A: We don’t know. They never get past the feasibility study.

Q: How many Ukrainians does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: None, because people who glow in the dark don’t need light bulbs. Note: Topical to the Chernobyl Reactor disaster of 1984.

Q: How many poets does it take to change a light bulb? A: Three. One to curse the darkness, one to light a candle… and one to change the bulb.

Q: How many stock brokers does it take to change a light bulb? A: Two. One to take out the bulb and drop it, and the other to try and sell it before it crashes (knowing that it’s already burned…

Q: How many aides does it take to change President Reagan’s light bulb? A: None, they like to keep him in the dark.

Q: How many magicians does it take to change a light bulb? A: Depends on what you want to change it into.