Hey! Football team! Get off the band field!

I don’t know much about prison, but it sounds like a pain in the ass.

“Mom! Deaf kids at school are making fun of me.” “What did they say?”

The word ‘function’ should never function as a verb.

I bet you I could stop gambling.

Trousers: Hot off the press . . . . / – – – I regret writing that. Remorse Code Does anyone here have a giant catapult? No? It was a long shot.. Saw two space hoppers outside a nightclub. I…

A gay pornstar doesn’t take as many balls to the face as my 4 year old son playing soccer.

One day I was standing in the park wondering how frisbees get bigger when they get closer. Then it hit me.

Mary had a little lamb, fries and a coke.

Whoever said nothing is impossible has never tried slamming a revolving door.