If you are a man, chances are you have forgotten that Valentine’s Day or that all-important anniversary is coming up soon. Now that you know, this seems a good time to pause for a large hysterical fit.

The angst you are feeling right now stems from a complete lack of understanding about what makes a woman feel romantic. I don’t know either, but I did look it up on the Internet.

Not counting about 5,000 Web sites that seem to correlate the word “romance” with “hot mamas,” here’s what I found out.

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